Gratitude--letting others know that you appreciate them

After two days of running at high speed (the weekends are busy times for us at BrightHaven), the little ElfGirl seems to be winding down. Who knew that three-year olds need more than five hours of sleep at night? Allright, allright, no throwing of stones or calling child protective services. I read your blogs too, you know!

So, anyway, she had the sniffles earlier this evening, accompanied by unbidden tears, fever and coughing. I was concerned and we had to postpone our trip to night service. She was miserable. Eventually, I realized as I was praying for her that she was mostly just sad--but sad ElfGirl is almost as miserable as sick ElfGirl!

At one point, I was holding her in my arms and rubbing her back when it occurred to me how grateful I am for every second we can spend with her. When Marshall died, I regretted the chances we won't have to kiss her and hold her and ride bikes with her. Some days, the list just seems endless! Each opportunity with ElfGirl is a moment that I greatly appreciate. Our family and friends are so precious. It's so hard sometimes to really just be in the moment--not thinking about 10 minutes ago or ten minutes from now or what else should be done.

Sometimes, the most important thing I can do is hold an ElfGirl and rub her back.

Born at the Right Time: a song for Marshall

For some reason, this song makes me think of my little niece Marshall. This version is performed by a high school. Even though the sound and video quality are a little off, the voices are impeccable. Hope you enjoy watching.

a different walk...

Since Marshall's death, so many things seem different. Some things are more important and others have completely faded from the radar. I feel more mature, more well-rounded. I still struggle with anxiety and selfishness but I can feel their hold slipping. It's a neat feeling. I was walking through a crowd of people yesterday and didn't feel so conspicuous. It was like I was even walking differently. Have any of you ever experienced anything like this? It's such a liberating experience.

Those two weeks with my family were really hard. I think we all learned things about ourselves. We learned things about spiritual battles and faith and disappointment and grieving. Some things are impossible to put into words but my spirit knows there is a new deposit of...something.

Grief Shall Not be my master

Laurie over at Old School Acres left this in my comment section back in May. Now seems to be a good time to revisit it

From A Quiet Place in a Crazy World by Joni Eareskson Tada:

"There is never a place where He is not. He waits in every room we're about to enter. He stands quietly in the back of every elevator - up or down - before we step through the doors. He lingers around every bend of every path we will ever walk. He's in the dark kitchen when we get up at night for a glass of milk. He's in the recovery room when we come out from under anesthetic. On a long dirt road, He's under the tree in the field were we pause to rest. There is no place too remote, no night too black, no cave too deep, no mountain peek too high for the immediate, awesome, pervasive, loving presence of the Lord."

Marshall passed away this morning at about 8 o'clock CST. All your prayers are highly desired. Thank you so much for standing with my family as we face this hard, hard time.

Awww...

What better way to share my 200th post than with my darling nieces?

How many yo-yos does it take

to make two quilts for two little princess nieces? Well, by my calculations, the one I am making for Marshall should take about 300 yo-yos and Laurel's yo-yo quilt will probably set me back about 600. My goal is to make 10 yo-yos each day. Right now, I am only 3 days behind. In my defense, I have finished some pretty cool projects recently. We rearranged the entire front portion of our house. I straightened the library, did some sewing, worked on a super-hero costume...

Only thirty yo-yos behind...in the first week of construction.

The reason for the sudden yo-yo craze stems from my sighting of a yo-yo quilt at the Salvation Army thrift store last week. Here's a picture of one in case anyone is unfamiliar with the concept

Pretty cute, hunh? It requires no backing or quilting. For Marshall, however, I plan to back the yo-yos with a lovely soft fleece square that I have on hand. Anyway, about the yo-yo quilt at the Sally...I looked it over carefully and decided that I couldn't justify $25 for it. It was falling apart in several places and just wasn't worth the expense. Now, I will spend my time making one!

That's why I'm submitting the yo-yo quilt as my project for this week's MIFS carnival (hosted by Joanna). The carnival will be posted on Tuesday. Check it out then! Even though it is not yet complete, I have some lovely photos of exactly how you too can get started on your own simple yo-yo quilt!
Start with fabric circles the size of a standard CD for 2-inch yo-yos...
these circles are the reincarnation of the blocks I initially made for windmill quilts for the girls
more circles
two practice yo-yos

starshine...

I have been trying to think of a post all week and haven't been able to come up with anything new yet. My sister Micah just posted this video on her myspace page and I wanted to share it with you all. Keep in mind, I have not seen Marshall since Christmas. I was still picturing her as a tiny infant. She is actually getting big. Isn't that wonderful? She has her daddy's red hair. How sweet.

Good Morning Munchie!!

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She breaks all the rules!

I just spoke with Micah last night. Marshall is still doing well. Plans are to remove her from the ventilator beginning on Tuesday. She would have been weaned on Friday except for an unexpected event.

The latest development was this last weekend. For months, the doctors have been telling the family her heart is severely enlarged and only one side is formed properly. On Friday, Micah was called (she's staying at the Ronald McDonald house in Dallas) and told that Marshall was being rushed in for a CT scan. One of the doctors saw an abnormality that was thought to be a collapsed lung or further enlargement of her heart. After a full day of tests and study, the verdict came back.

Her liver has ridden higher in her chest cavity because of either a weak diaphragm muscle or a hole in the diaphragm. All this time, the x-rays were showing the shadow of her liver on her heart. Her heart is a completely normal size--and both sides are developed! We consider this a true miracle. Can you imagine...looking at these x-rays for this long and everyone saw it wrong?? It's such an amazing thing! The doctors aren't quite sure what to do. They say she's "breaking all the rules..."

No surgery is required at the moment to correct this. There is a possibility that pushing the liver back down into place would ease her breathing, but the surgery is a major one. Micah is doing well and her faith was given a huge boost by this last news (mine too!) Since I am such a big fan of the liver (seriously), I asked about the health of Marshall's liver. Micah assured me that it is fine. As well, if anyone has noticed that Marshall's color is a bit off in the photos, that's because her blood oxygen levels are so low.

Her arteries are offering a high resistance to blood flow through them. I promise you, at this point, that is good news! The doctors forecasted that by this time in her life, Marshall's heart would have flooded her lungs with blood. Because of the increased resistance, the lungs are still able to function adequately.

All things work together... has never hit home so closely before!

Thank you all so much for all your prayers. My family and I really appreciate them. All of your wonderful emails are a huge blessing.

Here is the address for the Ronald McDonald House in Dallas. My mom and Micah and Laurel are staying there.

Micah Vittetoe
c/o Ronald McDonald House
5641 Medical Center Dr
Dallas, TX 75235
(214) 631-7354

Marshall update

Marshall did not have the heart catheter placed. She had a cold and blood oxygen levels were too low. She had a rough time and is now in ICU with a central line and on a breathing machine. We have faith for her to be healed. Honestly, we're having a rough time right now and would appreciate your continued prayers...

I just sent this letter to my email friends and thought I would post it here as well as a sort of update for you all who are praying. Thanks so much for all the encouragement!

Hi all,

I know I haven't updated you all on Marshall in a while. Okay, some of you have been updated and some not. She came home in December and has been in Texas since then. She has monthly visits to the cardiologists (along with her seven other doctors that they see). Marshall was diagnosed with cataracts and an un-severed optical blood vessel. With the removal of these, she should be able to see perfectly.

In March, I think, she was fitted with a G-Button. The g-button allows for easier feeding and cleaning of the feeding tube. A company also donated a feeding machine to Micah and Drew to help with the numerous feedings at night. Isn't that wonderful? They have been turned down for any financial assistance with medical bills, medicines or supplements because Drew "makes too much money." Oh well, all will be provided for!

Tomorrow, Marshall is having a heart catheter placed. The surgery will be at 8 a.m. in Dallas, TX. At the same time, the doctors will perform a "swallow test" to see if she is able to feed orally. Since the time Marshall stopped breathing, Micah has not fed her by mouth. I'm asking for all of you to please be praying for Marshall and the doctors. We would really appreciate just a few minutes of your time.

As well, Micah is really nearing exhaustion. Her spirits and body are being pushed to the limit. Please, while you're praying for Marshall, don't forget to pray for her Mommy as well!

If you have any questions or would like to just send encouragement to Micah and my family, forward them to me and I'll get the word to them. Thank you all so much for your prayers and encouragement.

Love,
Becca

as well, if you are just reading this and interested in the "whole story," click on the "Marshall" label below and you should be taken to all the old posts...

Have you all ever noticed the more "connected" you are with other people, the more you share in their sorrows? Being aloof from folks really does make one an island of sorts. In just the past couple of weeks, I have prayed for a woman with a brain tumor, a woman with an adoption gone awry, my own dear niece and sister and a friend's daughter newly diagnosed with cancer.

If I could make a bubble, I wouldn't have to share this pain or grief. Of course, then, I would not share the joy and friendship that comes with it. Excluding my sister and niece, I know none of these people about whom I have thought so much this month.

My sister and niece and brother-in-law are at their monthly cardiologist appointment. Today, they find out what course of action the doctor recommends. Two months ago, the doctor seemed to indicate that one of the holes in her heart had been healed. We know Marshall is being healed, but sometimes the process seems so painful that we forget what has happened.

If you've never before read my blog, I'm not usually so melancholy. This is just one of those days.

Anyway, next week, Marshall is scheduled to have the cataracts removed from her eyes. The opthalmologist believes she will be able to see once they are gone. She does have limited vision now, but is having to look around the cataracts. She also has some sort of optic blood vessel that usually disintegrates at birth that is still intact. The surgery will remove that vessel as well.

It seems there is so much to say about Marshall that I have not been telling and I know people have prayed for her. When she was released from the NICU, the doctors believed she only had a few weeks to live. So, the g-tube they inserted was only temporary. My sister dealt with that tube for four months and then took Marshall to a gastro-enterologist. He was astounded that the doctors were so sure of her imminent death they didn't provide her with a more stable feeding arrangement. Now, Marshall has a "g-button" that is much easier to keep clean and MUCH less likely to be ripped out than the tube was.

Marshall was diagnosed with Trisomy 13 at birth. Usually, this condition is diagnosed in utero. Marshall was flown by jet to New Orleans where she stayed in the NICU for two months. Initially, the doctors said she wouldn't live past two months (95% of babies diagnosed with trisomy 13 die before birth). Now they say, not past 1 year. Please pray with us that our family continues to be able to provide for Marshall's needs. As long as any child receives proper medical attention, the survival rate is much higher! Because of the multiple organs affected by this condition, most doctors just give up the fight. If you are praying, pleas pray that my family finds the best doctors possible.

Thanks for sticking with this post. I'm just really thinking about all of this a lot lately...

Becca

"Jesus is going to make her better..."

Well, some of you may remember my earlier post about Marshall. Marshall is still doing well. She has been home since Christmas week (6 weeks in ICU!) and she and Micah and Drew and Laurel and all of us are settling into the routines of cardiologist visits, 6 doctor teams and oxygen level monitoring.

My little sister is still my hero...

Anyway, the other day they were driving home from Dallas, when Marshall choked. She became angry and held her breath. Micah's story is that Marshall's entire body stiffened and then went limp as the proverbial dishrag. She simply stopped breathing. Micah was in the back seat with Marshall and Laurel while my mother drove. One call to OnStar and three quick rescue breaths (calmly administered by my sister) and Marshall was breathing again.

Thankfully, lungs were clear with no aspiration.

After my mom called Onstar, she began to cry and pray in the front seat. Laurel (3) leaned forward and said, Don't worry MeeMama, Jesus is going to make her better."

Mark 10:15

Grateful for another miracle

This is my little brother's Dodge Magnum after he ran into the back of an 18-wheeler.



He was totally spared, only needed 11 stitches on his right hand. Can you believe it? He fell asleep driving home from work. The truck stopped mere inches from his face.

Marshall and Kermit and New Orleans

I always find it amazing how quickly our plans can change. Remember Helen, GA? Well, we still haven't seen it. My little sister had her second daughter on Wednesday, November 15th. Marshall was taken by jet to New Orleans the next day. So, the last week and a half, I have lived between the Ronald McDonald House and the Children's Hospital. We have met so many brave people in such a short time span. I feel like I have met compassion and pain and love and faith and prayer. I have looked into their faces.

At first glance, I suppose the picture of Kermit throwing up (for that is what he is doing) seems out of place. My older niece came up with the idea for that photo. We were both sick while in NO and so had the experience fresh in our minds. Kermit was rescued from a thrift store in New Orleans. A little sponge-bathing and he'll be good as new!

The middle picture shows my husband looking out Marshall's NICU window. We put crystals in the window to encourage dancing rainbows...which leads me back to Kermit and the Rainbow Connection which leads me to little Marshall. Please pray for our sweet niece to be healed. She was diagnosed with a chromosome mutation. We believe she will be healed.